So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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