It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
