brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Couch. On fire.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize