I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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