I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
