porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Fuck appropriateness.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
