She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize