and you said cock pushups were impossible
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
