Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
