By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
being pregnant is like rehab
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
