you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
