Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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