spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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