You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
