I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
did you just send me my own nude
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
