he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
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He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
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nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...