Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.

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  (508): If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you. http://tfl.nu/1yt8
  Replies (9) Good night (710) Bad night (1816)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date

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  (413): He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date http://tfl.nu/21qw
  Replies (58) Good night (1174) Bad night (5688)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..

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  (717): currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous.. http://tfl.nu/1hzm
  Replies (9) Good night (4096) Bad night (537)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Everybody was literally kung fu fighting

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  (803): Everybody was literally kung fu fighting http://tfl.nu/75ca
  Replies (33) Good night (10583) Bad night (900)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities

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  (812): i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities http://tfl.nu/t8hr
  Replies (7) Good night (5488) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.

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  (714): He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where. http://tfl.nu/my2r
  Replies (17) Good night (1421) Bad night (6805)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.

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  (214): I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room. http://tfl.nu/9wgv
  Replies (7) Good night (4286) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE

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  (256): The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE http://tfl.nu/2u36
  Replies (11) Good night (1284) Bad night (2645)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.

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  (806): I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit. http://tfl.nu/a0hw
  Replies (4) Good night (2502) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.

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  (405): I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again. http://tfl.nu/ydjf
  Replies (12) Good night (461) Bad night (2016)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak. 

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  (206): There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.  http://tfl.nu/3ssu
  Replies (3) Good night (1653) Bad night (483)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.

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  (816): Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks. http://tfl.nu/88uh
  Replies (20) Good night (1935) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM

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  (+44): IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM http://tfl.nu/pr8f
  Replies (3) Good night (795) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.

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  (262): You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days. http://tfl.nu/ufco
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place

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  (307): He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place http://tfl.nu/50j6
  Replies (4) Good night (802) Bad night (232)

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