we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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