? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
