They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize