Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out