And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait