okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?