awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
