What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My vagina just recognized that song.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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