hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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