your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just pynch a tree in the face
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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