some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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