i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
