Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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