If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
