i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
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