tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
where are my pants?
in the oven.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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