super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
