What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
