It was confusing and full of hummus
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
