i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize