"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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