I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Randomize
