Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
