i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
