Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize