Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
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That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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