Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i love accidental penises.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
