she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
