just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
