I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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