Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
