Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
