I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
