How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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