she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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