It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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