I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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