You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I look excited, but its just a facade.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
