i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
