He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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