btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
