I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
