dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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