READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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