NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
