I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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